More thoughts from time after NALDS – My vision

The last Friday I sent my application for the Member Committee President of AIESEC in Finland for the term 2007-2008. Some decisions in life are more difficult than others. That was one of the most difficult decisions in my life. It will bind my life for the next 1,5 half years. However now after I have made the decision I am happy about making it.

If I get selected, it would mean that I will work full-time for AIESEC between May 2007 and June 2008 in Helsinki. That would be a great sacrifice for my studies. But then again, the work is very interesting one and I believe I can get much more out of it than a year of studying.

But why did I do such a decision? Well already during the beginning of my studies here in Berlin I started to ask myself what I want to do the next year, the year after my ERASMUS studies here in Berlin. I had the feeling that I don’t want to go back to Tampere and continue my studies there.

I had a lot of different ideas/possibilities in my head. I was considering options like:
- finishing my studies in Berlin
- doing another ERASMUS year somewhere else
- continuing my studies in Helsinki University of Technology
- etc.

I was also asking myself why I don’t feel like going back to Tampere. There was really nothing in Tampere which I would have found so negative. I actually like Tampere:) I just didn’t felt like going back there right away. It would feel like getting stuck somewhere where I already was and not getting any further in my life.

A while ago in NALDS I was also thinking of my life in a bigger scale, meaning what I want to do/reach in my life. Thinking about it makes me very confused. The question is so big and feels so ultimate. And I don’t want to make any decisions that would be too binding for me, limiting my freedom of choose...

So how do I see my future? Here I will now describe that a bit in different areas of Work & Contribution, People and Me. This description is in no way anything final or permanent. I just was clarifying a bit of my thoughts through writing them.

Work & Contribution:

I want to be work in international company or organization in a position where I can travel a lot. Different cultures fascinate me and I love traveling, meeting new people and seeing new places. My work must be versatile. I want to learn something new every day. My work should challenge me every day. I want to have nice and diverse working colleagues. I want to be passionate about my work.

I have been also thinking of the possibility of later on founding my own company. However I think first I need to work for some years to get some experience. I also need a good and clear idea for the company which I don’t yet have. Founding my own would allow me the freedom to create such a company as I would like to. I could also recruit such people I would like to. Own company would also definitely provide me challenges. I could work in an area I find important. I could identify the values of the company with my own ones. I could operate on an international level which would definitely provide me with the possibilities or even require me to meet new people from different cultures and to travel a lot.

I was also thinking about the impact I would like to create. There are so many things in the World which I would like to change. However as it’s not possible to do everything, I would like to concentrate my contribution to an area I find very important: nature. Nature has been something very important for me for my whole life. I think that nature is in a way more precious for us than anything a human being can create. Therefore I feel that the current society is totally neglecting nature and its well-being. I would like to contribute to the nature by working around the problems arising nowadays from the growing demand of energy in the World. That is something I have been studying and something where I see that there are especially much to be done. It is not very clear for me yet, how I will contribute in this area, but I’m sure that by the time it will come clear to me.

People:

In this area I wanted to include all my relationships. With relationships here I don’t only mean romantic ones. I have personally learned a lot about relationships during the last couple of years. However I think this is an area where no one can become good enough. Therefore I also want to consciously keep on developing my social skills during my whole life.

I think that later in my life I want to have an own family. However that day is not coming very near to me yet. But later I would like to have a wife and maybe a couple of children. I think that the older one gets, the more important own family becomes. For my family I want then to provide a good standard of living not only considering material wealth but also a good family atmosphere. For my children I want to provide the best possible platform for personal development including education and safe environment for growing. For my wife I want to be a good partner in any possible way.

I also think that the balance between family and private life is important. I think that even when being a part of family, one should have enough own space. Own space to do to things he/she likes as a person and not as a part of the family. I am sure, however, that this balance will be very hard to create. So next to my family I also want to have good friends.

Quite lately I have really learned about friendships that it’s more about the quality than quantity. So the most important thing is to have those few very good friends. That sounded quite obvious for me too but I just realized that I wasn’t personally living in that way. I have been neglecting my good friends too much. Instead I have been collecting a lot of people around me. By saying this I definitely don’t mean that one should stick always with the same people. No, I actually think rather the opposite. I think that especially when one is young, one should get to know a lot of people. That’s part of being young. But I also think that one should really put effort to those few very good friendships. The good friends are the ones, who are there to help you out when you have hard times. They are the ones you still know after 20 years. My New Year promise will be that I put more effort for the good friends I already have. Btw. Thanks to the people I was having conversations around this area before! They really helped me to open my eyes.

Next to own family and friends I would really like to work for the relationship I have with my family i.e. my parents and my brother and sister. They are very important in my life. I also want to keep close touch to the close relatives I have.

Me:

First of all I want to see myself being happy. Well I know that raises a lot of questions like: What makes me happy? What is happiness? My opinion is that being happy more a process than a goal. I think there won’t ever be a day when you can say that now I am completely happy. Instead I think that happiness is feeling that you can experience everyday. It’s a feeling that is inside of you and eventually you are the one who is able to let it out. So by saying that I want to be happy I mean that I want to learn how to feel happy more often.

I want also to be still questioning life in a way I am doing it nowadays. By doing it, one can learn so much about him/herself and can grow as a person. I really want to be learning from the life even when I am 80 years old. I want to also keep up with the continuous learning throughout my life. I want to be still reading, trying out and practicing things when I’m old.

One thing I have realized about myself is that I am quite analytical person. I am often thinking really hard before I make decisions. Regarding to this and decisions in common I want not to regret any of the decisions I have made during my life. Especially I don’t want to be regretting about chances I didn’t grasp. I really agree with the phrase: “I prefer doing and failing than not doing and succeeding”. Life is really about learning. For me it would the most awful thing to realize when I am old, that I wasted my whole life for something that I don’t feel anymore important. Therefore I am really putting effort now on trying to figure out what really matters.

Ok, there was some kind of idea of my vision. It was just the first real draft created. I still need to work on it a lot. I don’t know if this posting here will make my vision any clearer to other people. However I think it was good process for myself to go through and I think for other people it gives an insight into my thoughts.

Quote from a song of a famous Finnish musician (with my own free translation):

”On vapautta istua iltaa

yksinänsä

Ja tuntea, tutkia omaa sisintänsä

Ja elää

elämäänsä ja elää elämäänsä

Maailma on kaunis ja hyvä elää sille

Jolla on

aikaa ja tilaa unelmille

Ja mielen vapaus ja mielen

vapaus”

”It is freedom to sit in the evening

Alone

And feel, seek your own most inner part

And live

Your life and live your life

The World is beautiful and good to live for the one

Who has

Time and space for dreams

And the freedom of mind and freedom

Of mind”

 - Irwing Goodman, Maailma on kaunis (The World is beautiful)

In ten hours I will fly to Finland for Christmas. That feels cool!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas! I hope you will have time to enjoy, relax, eat too much, drink a bit, spend some time with you family and what ever belongs to your Christmas!